WAW assumes that the H doesn't realize the W is planning her escape. He believes that when the complaints and arguements stop all is well. Then he's blown away on D-Day and starts chasing like crazy which leads to him realizing he needs to LRT.
What happens if you know your SO is a WAS? I know that she's planning her escape and so now she's being nice to my face and avoiding arguements. Her biggest complaints are that I didn't listen to her and value her input on anything, that I didn't make her feel welcome and was actually making her feel like I didn't want her around, that all I wanted her around for was her body, and that she appreciated all the financial support and attempted to repay me by creating emotional support and an emotional connection between the two of us.
If I do full out LRT: I don't help financially, I don't help with the kids, don't let her use the car, don't help with laundry, don't do any of the loving acts (loving in her LL) then aren't I just re-inforcing what she already believes about me? That I don't want her around? That I am the mean, cruel, selfish person she believes me to be right now?
I understand detaching in the way that I stop pressuring and pursuing her. I stop saying ILY or "I care about you", I don't go trying to be romantic with flowers or other romantic gifts, I don't make her feel pressure to work on the R, and I give her some space and time to think about things and take it slowly if she shows signs of reconcilliation. But should I not really do LRT but rather action-oriented 180's? Do the laundry as a loving act, help with the kids without being asked, if she brings up an idea of how to do something really listen and consider it rather than shoot it down, and just become that caring loving guy she first met?
I don't tell her, I just show her with my actions, I do my 180's for the stuff she complained about while not pressuring her about having an R with me? I'm also doing the 180's b/c that really is the guy I want to be, I don't like the guy I've become.
I mean, given my sitch and all my screw-ups can this still be salvaged if I approach it in this manner?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
