1) grief. GRIEF & LOSS (this might be only one i'm sure about- i'm only 1 yr post (total knowledge) tho 4 or so of "disconnect" & "what the heck is up with him" and denial from h
Honestly- GRIEF -all consuming- Gut wrenchng loss/sadness is all that could feel- for the "gone-ness" of my buddy, friend, companion, life, dreams, hopes, future, past, etc. you get the drift. IN A FOG- COULDN't face people, getting up- thinking, focusing, nothing in the universe able to give me pleasure - hated everything i owned- you get the pic.
2) denial - maybe & mild depression - MONTHS of "why" "how could he" (whatever that is) - - after a year - i can almost feel sometimes that i can live without him in my life- but sometimes i'm still washed over with the - resistance to life alone- or without h. maybe a minute here or there of acceptance. i'm functioning - but not even at half speed - and I'm not "self" or cheery. might snapping out of "why" phase after a year (slow learner)
don't know what you call that.
3) b]QUANDRY[/b] STAGE. rethinking of entire life w/h, r, me, everything- GIANT RETHINKING - questioning it all - so [ OVERWHELMING uncertainty & uncomfortableness about where were- where going-
- that's it for me for now- just in case you're doing a survey here.
not any giant anger that stays around- some giant flashes- som giant flashes of this & that- but as far as a giant day in and day out phase -that hangs arount - that's what i can identify i think. if i'm nuts- i'll revamp
