My story - help please

[theUF]

Thanks NinaNina! I think it's paramount I keep working on not being so reactive.

Today I got another lesson in that, and boy it was hard! She picked up S, and before she left she told me the following in an oh-btw-type-of-manner :

She picked up S from the day care centre and had to tell the people working there that we had split up, the reason was that a man had started working there and S had been following him and calling him dad all day. She said it was normal, didn't matter and that I shouldn't read into it. S is changing day care centre in a couple of months so I don't know why she felt the need to tell me.

She also told me the other day how fond S had become to her sisters boyfriend and that he would hug him and liked to sit on his lap.

I'm just completely put out by the fact she would even tell me these things???!! When we decided to try having a baby I told her I wanted us to never break up if we had a child. Now she left me. Why rub my face in it?

When we broke up she told me how good it felt to get attention by someone else, and later on go on about all the good changes she is making. I almost feel like she is going "oh well, that just peeled right of him, maybe I should tell him hurtful things about S?"

She doesn't say these things in a mean way, just casually. I deflect them and just acknowledge that I heard what she was saying, but man how hurtful !

So now she left with S and I'm all alone, feeling like a mess. For the first time since we broke up, I feel hate for her. Nothing but pure hate. Of course, anger can make you feel that way temporarily.