Riding the Bull

[Arsene]

Thanks everyone,

AT, you are describing exactly the way I see it. Mind you, it IS, IMO, a baby step as the spending the night and convo were initiated by her with no prompting at all from me. She actually went out on a limb to talk to me. It's not like I was in the same room as her.

CB, Afa and Denver, I hear you guys loud and clear. You all know that I've been considering the issue of boundaries and that it is something I might implement in the future. With regards to self-respect, that is a personal thing. I am starting to regain my own based on the way I'm handling this case so far. I know I have had a relapse or two but overall I see myself as moving forward with a solid plan in place. I do feel in control of my sitch (whether or not I am might be a totally different story ). Furthermore, Tori's words that she was where I am last December also resonate clearly that this might not be what it seems to me right now.

You must remember though, that I only got back to the reality of this sitch in mid-July (3 1/2 months ago) and got DR at the end of August (2 months ago). I know it feels like much longer (more like years ago) but that is how new my sitch is as far as DBing is concerned (even though it really started in 2010).

In those few months I have seen and felt huge improvements in the way W interacts with me, in her attitude towards "us", and D8. I'm not saying she is quite there yet but I do see progress and as long as there is progress, I will stick with what I'm doing now til December as planned (another 68 days out of 90) before re-assessing things. I appreciate your concern and I am listening to what you are saying and so far, IMO, I have no reasons to stop doing what I'm doing, what works. By the end of this 90 days (4 months into my actual DBing), I'll be better able to judge if I was being strung along or if this was truly progress.

CB, I hope your dad is well. Cheers mate!