Why can't I say no! W called and asked for a favor. She told me she had the chance to go to a professional sporting event Thursday and asked if I would take our S since it's her night to have him. She wants to exchange for another night. I know she will end up with the OM for this event and I should stop being their for her every time she needs something. I can't detach from favors and it's driving me nuts. Any tips, I tried saying I was busy but she wanted to know what I was doing and saw right through it. She knows I will do anything for her so back on the yo yo! Not happy with myself right now.
I'm glad you guys are seeing if you are doing favor, providing emotional and financial support for a spouse that is in an active affair, you are building the NORM for them to be able to expect it.
It makes it much worse for you and harder to almost impossible to undo.
Pulling all of your emotional and financial support also allows them to see the reality of their relationship with the OP. Many times the OP is there just for the fun and sex, and the other pieces you were providing. When the OP has to provide those other pieces they are likely to not want to deal with the "drama", and will send that H or W back home because they don't want to deal with it.
I understand this very well. I eventually learned that as long as OM was in her life, that I would not be in her life, let alone doing favors for her. I think that you need to get to that place.
Yes, you are enabling her affair by agreeing to do these favors. You are NOT allowing her to see REAL life. That she is a mother and that her responsibilities are going to be part of her life, EVEN IF she is with OM.
