Originally Posted By: Arsene
Sorry CB but I feel you're being unreasonably harsh here. I'm sorry you felt mentally abused and walked all over mate. There seems to be a lot of bitterness still left in you.

Right now, I feel I'm teaching my D8 about love and patience. We all reach our breaking point at our own pace. Sometimes it sounds like you would have me punish her for what she is doing in order to control her in doing what I want her to do. That sounds a lot like the man I used to be. The same man who got me in this mess in the first place.

I see baby steps her. I see a woman who wouldn't talk to me without spewing venom and who wanted little to do with me 2 months ago, initiating convos and meetings and telling me that she's enjoying her time with me.

Do what works.

DR page 130 - As long as your spouse seems to be somewhat interested rather than pulling away, it's okay for your marriage to be in a holding pattern.

DR page 135 - As long as you are seeing mild progress, you can assure yourself that your new strategy has some merit. Keep doing it.

"unconditional love is awesome!"

Cheers CB! smile


Chatter was a bit harsh here, but I think that he has a point.

Your approach needs to be somewhere in the middle.

I also agree with AT about adjusting the DB skills to your unique situation... but I don't agree that feeling good about the interaction is what this is all about. There are PLENTY of people here who mistaken believe that they have had a good interaction... many of us are seeing things through rose colored glasses with some of these interactions. Don't mistake her being nice to you and being happy that you are 'okay' with her doing what she is doing (being with OM) as progress.

I think that that's some of Chatter's point.

Sorry Arsene. Just telling you what I see. I did the same thing early on though, so I understand.

Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce