Confused at Where I am!

[sandi2]

I didn't see your post, so okay, I'll just say it here.

This may be more than you had wanted (lol) but here goes:

First, let me assure everyone that I’m not suggesting that parents should whip or beat their kids. But I do believe very strongly in old fashion spanking on the backside where there is padding. That isn't always popular with some, but if applied correctly, it works better with smaller kids than anything else I've observed, or read about. I was eight years old the last spanking I received from my dad. My parents would have been considered strict (especially in our society today), but they also showed me equal amount of love & affection. I thought it worked pretty good, and that’s the principle I used when I had my own kids.

My way of thinking about it is that when the kids get too big to spank, you have to use other methods that will have a bigger impact than a spanking. Most of us take some privilege away for a time. Something the kid like to do or a favorite object. But if you use this method when they are only two or three years old……I don’t think it works well. I don’t have much for the so-called “time out”, either. Perhaps b/c the people I saw use it didn’t have much success with obedient children. I’m sure “The Nanny” would not approve of my spanking, but she goes home at the end of the show. The parent is the one that stays behind to live in the house with the kids.
Whatever method that one chooses should be age appropriate. Do they understand why they are being punished, and how long should it last, and what is their attitude during & afterwards?
If the child is not remorseful, and especially if he/she has an “attitude” when they are disciplined, it obviously isn’t the right method. As long as that kid is slinging anger insults (which should never be tolerated in the first place) or showing acts of rebellion, I personally believe in most cases (if the child doesn’t have mental problems) that the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. Either the parent has been too harsh and the punishment over-done, or the parent has been too soft. Had the child rather have his favorite thing taken away for bad behavior……or had he rather be obedient and keep his favorite thing? If it doesn’t matter to him…..them you’ve got big problems!
Our school district has not used corporal punishment the last dozen years. The teachers have no control and the students are the ones ruling the classrooms. They have no respect for the teacher, principal, bus driver, or anyone in law enforcement. So how do children grow up having respect for any form of authority in society when they aren’t taught when they’re little? I can tell you where a good percentage ends up……in prison. That’s not what we want for our kids. That’s why we have to begin teaching them to have respect when they are two years old.

Knowing the right balance of how much, how long, what kind, etc., is what keeps parents on their knees in prayer. Take my word for it…..it’s so much easier when they are small. The hard part comes later.

BTW, I read parenting books written by Dr. James Dobson. I think he's the best!