Riding the Bull

[chatterbug]

Sorry CB but I feel you're being unreasonably harsh here. I'm sorry you felt mentally abused and walked all over mate. There seems to be a lot of bitterness still left in you.

Right now, I feel I'm teaching my D8 about love and patience. We all reach our breaking point at our own pace. Sometimes it sounds like you would have me punish her for what she is doing in order to control her in doing what I want her to do. That sounds a lot like the man I used to be. The same man who got me in this mess in the first place.

I see baby steps her. I see a woman who wouldn't talk to me without spewing venom and who wanted little to do with me 2 months ago, initiating convos and meetings and telling me that she's enjoying her time with me.

Do what works.

DR page 130 - As long as your spouse seems to be somewhat interested rather than pulling away, it's okay for your marriage to be in a holding pattern.

DR page 135 - As long as you are seeing mild progress, you can assure yourself that your new strategy has some merit. Keep doing it.

"unconditional love is awesome!"

Cheers CB!

Thanks for accepting my apology Arnse. Means allot to me.

I do not believe in punishment. Only boundaries self-respect and some tough love.

Here is my thoughts now minus the anger I felt earlier. And the reason I felt that anger was because of the thoughts of time marching on and on and me seeing a good man being slowly eroded. My dad got some bad news today and he is far away from where I am living so I am feeling a little numb. And right at that time I was reading your post. I was not even going to reply at all. But yea. The though of you repeatedly having to suffer this over and over just ticked me off.

I see a woman who does not really feel any consequences for her actions. Nor does she comprehend how her repeated actions are causing your health issues. Causing your daughter harm. She has placed you and your daughter in purgatory limbo. She can sit down and talk to you about ethics. Be untruthful to your daughter and mother-in-law. Keep you in-place with some wishful thinking then its back to OM. She knows you are following the 'nice-guy' approach. So she can get a few hours of being a mother in and then its back to woe is me conversation for a few hours and then off. She knows your happy because on the day of your accident she can keep you up to 4 AM talking about her problems. She takes zero responsibilities for her actions.

You see some nice things there. I see selfishness. Lack of ownership to the problems her actions are causing. The only shame is the shame of what people will think of her due to her actions.

And in two weeks from now the same thing will happen again.

Zero consequences. I just don't want to see you go through another failed attempt at piecing in 6 months to 2 years because only one of you has actually done some work on improving themselves. Or the paper work finally show's up for D and just shatters you.

And that is how I see it going based upon both your actions.

And yes

"unconditional love is awesome!" But I do not think you understand what the unconditional means.