I did talk to a lawyer and I have every right to drill the locks out and be in my home but that could start a battle which I do not want. I love my wife more than anything I feel if I let the A run it's course while I better my life she will come back.
OK, well with that in mind, if it were me, I'd consider having a talk with her. Maybe something along the lines of:
"W, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I should not have moved out. I would like to work on things with you, and I can't do that effectively if I live somewhere else. Plus I feel like I'm being punished for something that isn't my fault. I've checked into this (not sure if I'd mention L) and I do have the legal right to move back in with or without your consent since we own the home jointly. So I'm going to move back in on XX date. If you feel that you want to maintain separation then maybe we can live in separate bedrooms, we can work out those details later. But regardless, I will be moving back in."
If she goes into rant mode, just tell her you'd be happy to discuss it with her later when she calms down and then excuse yourself.
I understand your concerns about creating a conflict, but honestly, she's sleeping with OM in your bed? THAT is creating conflict, saying you're going to move back in pales in comparison to that.
