Sorry to hear about your sitch. Yes lawyer up just to know your rights, and yes agree don't use this info against her just sit on it to just know your rights.
If it was me I'd tell her do trial separation for the kids' sake. Then do LRT, hopefully the space that you'd give her will eliminate the pressure she's feeling right now.
Keep us posted DM.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.