I know I'll get there... And I know I'll have plenty of rough patches along the way...
But look at how many rough patches I've already had! And I'm still here, trudging through them and noticing a new strength whenever there's an obstacle in my rear view mirror...
I know it's much easier these days, thanks to the darkness, and I'm sure it will get tougher if she ever decides to reach out... but I'm not worried about that, because I know I'll have new tools whenever that happens. And I'll be at a different point than I am today.
I see lots of talk about medications on other threads, and in all honesty, I've never considered them... at least not seriously... My IC agrees that they're unnecessary in MY sitch, as I'm normally able to use my "negative" emotions in a positive way... i.e. I'll write something, hit the gym, run with the doggie or sometimes just sit and think about it for a while...
For me, there's a solace in getting through these down and depressing times... it makes the good times seem that much better I suppose... But I KNOW that there are plenty of people in plenty of other situations that absolutely need a helping hand... so there's no judgement here.
Anyway, having a fine day... work is busy and I have a few more interesting assignments coming across my desk... so that's fun!
Keep the chin up AT! It gets easier with time. As far as her reaching out, that's what voicemail, email, and text are for. There need be very limited face to face or conversation. As far as most are concerned, unless it is urgent child discussion, none is needed.
Thanks Shocked. Rest assured, as she lives a few hundred miles away now, face to face isn't going to happen... And knowing W, her reaching out is highly unlikely to happen at all... At least for quite a while.
As for me initiating conversations... Well that won't happen either... Well, her birthday is a few weeks away, so I'll probably send her a quick email then, but other than that... There is no use reaching out and pursuing her now... She's made her decision, she knows where I stand, and if she wants to talk about us or put effort into reaching out... She knows how to find me.
Interesting what Chatter just said. I thought the same thing but wasn't sure so I didn't post anything. I think that one could go 50/50. You might have been unsure yourself and that's why you posted it, haaa.
The bugs sure are empowering. I hope your doing well AT. Your thread is great and it's helped me out a lot.
Working on taking the focus off W does wonders. Not easy, but very helpful.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Kinda figured I'd get that response on the birthday message! I'm not decided on doing it for certain, but it just seems "right" to at least send a three word "Happy Birthday W" email... Interested in the reactions to that as the day gets closer!
On another, more journaling note, I had a great night with my brother last night, grabbing a couple drinks and watching the football game. Got home a bit late and went right to bed... And during my slumber I had some VIVID dreams of W calling me just to say she missed me and wanting to let me know she's "working on herself now".
When I woke up, I thought of the dream, smiled and went right on getting ready for the day... There was no urgent desire to reach out, no over analysis of the dream... just a "That was cute" feeling and a sense of calm that, at least for today, these trivial things aren't sending me spinning.
I've been having a great day today as well, had a great pitch meeting this morning, got to grab lunch with a good friend I haven't seen in a while, and now it's looking like I'll be finishing off my writing earlier than I'd anticipated, so I'll be able to head home early!
And I've decided that, at least for tonight, I'm putting my GAL on hold... I'm very much looking forward to getting home, going for a long walk with my pup (provided the weather cooperates) and vegging out on the couch, watching some bad horror movies with the aforementioned pup.
Might go out shopping tomorrow for a little "retail therapy"... As I got a pretty sizable bonus and never seem to be able to convince myself to "treat myself"... But we'll see how that goes!
Other than that, nothing too new in the sitch... W sent me a work-related email a few hours ago, but as it's not very urgent, I'm going to wait until I'm about to head home to respond.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for keeping up with my sitch, even if it is rather uneventful at this point. I've got a lot of catching up to do on everyone else's sitch... betcha I can fit that in tonight between terrible horror movies!
Sometimes uneventful is good mate. It's a piece of flat rail on an otherwise bumpy roller coaster. It allows you to enjoy the view for a bit. Take care!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Kinda figured I'd get that response on the birthday message! I'm not decided on doing it for certain, but it just seems "right" to at least send a three word "Happy Birthday W" email... Interested in the reactions to that as the day gets closer!
Think of it this way. You will expend more energy thinking about it and wondering how it was received than it is actually worth. Since you will not be partaking in any birthday events with her or spending the night with her.... ignore it.
And since you think that all messages need a ton of thought I see no difference in this than with a U 2 Wife message.....
Best to allow her the opportunity to contact you on that day or a few days later. One of those. Consequences of your actions. A wondering if you are going to contact her. Gives her a chance to think about you.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I'm not decided on doing it for certain, but it just seems "right" to at least send a three word "Happy Birthday W" email... Interested in the reactions to that as the day gets closer!