I asked her last night about trial S. She seemed surprise, she said all that I have told you tonight and your still wanting to stay married to me? Yea duh..
Try to phrase things as if you and she are on the same side of this. You don't want her to feel like you're applying pressure to her. If she wants out of the M and you constantly remind her that you want to stay in the M, you're creating conflict and pressure. That drives her farther away. So a better response to the above would be "Honestly W, I'm confused right now. I don't know what I want. I think a trial S would be best for both of us, it would give us time to think about things and contemplate the future with or without each other." The reason you want to say things like this is because SHE is confused! SHE wants to comtemplate the future. So when she hears you say the exact same thing she's thinking, she suddenly feels you're both on the same page! You've removed the conflict and pressure, she now thinks you both want the same thing!
And also you've planted the seeds of doubt. Suddenly she hears you saying that you're NOT SURE you want the M. You need to THINK about it. Uh oh, what happened here? Is her fallback position unraveling? Could she lose you? She may not react to that right away, but keep planting the seeds of doubt and they'll start growing.
