I renew my suggestion to all go to a family therapist to help with things like what your H texts to your D's. If you get involved he's likely to get angrier and view it as another effort to separate him from the girls as you guessed. You do need to protect your girls, and you do that by helping them set boundaries, and by getting a counselor involved.

Sweetbriar, why do you feel your H got to this place? Why did things get so bad for him in your marriage? When you're dealing with a person with low self-esteem, a lot of their bad feelings come from within and have nothing to do with you, but at some point H's balance shifted to "better off alone". Given what an involved father he was, that must have taken quite a while to get there. Do you have insight into his perspective on things?

You have to ignore many of his current complaints and view of history because he's rewritten it, but if you think back, what dynamics did you have going on in your marriage that pushed the two of you apart and lead H (and probably you) to feel so badly?

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015