Of course, he sees our past as happier than I see it, because we were doing do things he wanted to do.
Or better said, his NEEDS were being met but mine were not, so he looks on it as a happy M where I look on it as... well,... not.
So wouldn't this be poor communication? If he didn't know what your needs are? Do you expect him to just know? Did you ask him once and twice and said forget it? Did he act bored during your needs? Did you explain to him how this makes you happy and you want him to just enjoy the moment?
When you did this, did you tell him in a kind voice, mean voice, or when he was distracted with playing with the kids, watching his favorite sports team, working on something you asked him to do?
Just becuase he doesn't know, doesn't mean the next man you meet, will know what your needs are, if you don't communicate it. If you met another man and continue to do what he wants to do, your enabling him to continue doing it because he thinks....you enjoy it.
My W has a problem, telling me exactly what she enjoys doing. Everything we did as a couple (prior to kids) is things we did, watch movies, go out to eat dinner, go visit family/friends, go for walks, go on vacations. Then Kids happened where everything we did revolved around kids...but somehow over the years that becomes neglecting her needs. Its a failure of communication on both sides. But now my WAS has re-written history to say she doesn't know if we were in love. I have countless of pictures of us being happy, i had her diary, which she allowed me to read, which told me she was madly in love with me. Somewhere along the line, she forgot who she married and wanted more, she wanted the 1st stage of love, where excitement, passion is there (OM comes into play)
I guess if she wants a new H every 2-3 years, she will have that excitement and passion....as a LBS, i love her so much, that i am willing to make sure this never happens again (neglecting her needs) but the problem is, i got no chance against (new, passion, excitement). So i am GAL and when i am ready to make someone else happy, i won't make the same mistake.
nobody wants to have a marriage with no love..not the WAS nor LBS. But running away from your problems, isn't the answer, especially when you have kids.
