Hi Lisa, thanks for dropping in. I've read your posts periodically. It's great of you to step in and share with others.
Originally Posted By: Lisa.7
Okay so how can someone seem happy then claim they haven't been happy for years? To me, it was like he woke up one morning distant and distracted, within a week he was gone. If someone is that unhappy for years, how can they still seem happy?
I suspect that the answer is simply that a whole lot of people can seem like a whole lot of things that they really aren't. eg. a pastor seeming like a very devoted family man and spiritually committed, only to find he has a pornography/affair issue. Or a sexy, ladies' man coming out as gay. It happens all the time. We just assume that we know more because we're the S. It's doesn't help either that as a S, we're already programmed with a list of expectations.
Originally Posted By: Lisa.7
How can a WAS say that the bad times far outweighed the good and most of it was bad but yet the LBH sees far more good than bad. Feels like H rewrote our history to suit him.
I think it's very easy for people that are happy to view other people as being happy as well, either because they don't want to see it because the other person's happiness will dampen theirs, or simply because they aren't really looking. I know I had this in my sitch. My H liked boating and camping. I went along with it, making the best of it, because that's what I would expect from him when we did the things I liked to do. I also probably appeared happy because I just tend to be a happy person. But my interests of floating and biking never happened and were over-ridden with H's interests. My "unhappiness" only became obvious to H when I refused to continue to do his activities with him. It was not, however, a lack of my communicating it to him. His standard response to my complaint was, "I know, but...."
Of course, he sees our past as happier than I see it, because we were doing do things he wanted to do.
