I just don't know why he isn't telling me anything. And the last time I saw him, he even said he basically decided to come back!!! And I know it's a lie now but why did he say that.
I doubt it was a lie. See this DB 180 tip:
32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because he is hurting and scared.
Even if he's not hurting and scared, he is confused. He doesn't know for sure what he wants. He is probably waffling back and forth a lot. So he wasn't lying when he said he wanted to come back, but he may very well have changed his mind the next day. He's going to cycle like this a lot.
Originally Posted By: NinaNina
One thing that might be happening soon is, One of H's friends is going to talk to him. He knows we are having this problem, and he also thinks that he knows how H is feeling. He thinks H is suffering and he's trying to help him out. I told him I don't want H to think that I sent him there, and I really didn't ask him to help fix our problem anyway.
So, Any thoughts on this everyone? Do you think this is a good thing? Should I do something about this? Well, there's not much i could do I guess. Just, any thought?? It's not up to me if he goes or not. I just hope if he goes, things won't get worse.
If it's a mutual friend then it would be best if he didn't talk about your M to H at all. If he's exclusively your H's friend then it's not really your concern what they talk about. Either way it probably will not benefit you, most of the time friends advise the WAS to just cut all ties and move on because they mistakenly think all the pain will stop and things will go back to normal.
