Is It really Worth it?

[Ready2Quit]

Thoughts....

I guess I thought it was a brick wall because he had contact with her again after we just talked about him not contacting her.

I have been doing some thinking. When H left (alomost 10 weeks ago) I was so hurt and wanted him back so bad. I did everything wrong as I said before, then found this website and read DB and DR. Great books. I applied the principles and wow it worked. He started to contact me, tell me he missed me, etc. I was so happy that I told him he could come home. I made a mistake, I did not give any stipulations for him to come home, concerning the OW. I was just so excited that he wanted to come home I didn't want him to change his mind.

Now he is home and "acting" like everything is great. Except I can tell he is not 100% home. One of the things I did say was I wanted him to stop emailing, texting, playing on line games with the OW. He said ok. Last night I saw where he was playing two on-line games with her on his phone. (yes I snopped when he took a shower) I sent him a request to play one of the games, he ignored it. I feel like I made a big mistake and took him back too soon.

My IC told me I should have told him to take more time with the OW and make sure that coming home was what he wanted. (her husband left her 3 weeks ago). I feel like I am the consolation prize and he has no intentions of stop seeing the OW. I have been dealing with this crap for 4 years with him and this OW. I know I have been part of the problem and I am trying to learn from the DB and DR books. I just want him to stop with this OW but I don't think he ever will. They work together and will continue to work together for at least 5 years or more.

I read in DR about the "after the last-resort technique" I wish I would have used this on him before I let him home. I do love him enough to let him go completely. I also think I have more respect for myself then continue with this man. I don't think he wants to win me back, I think he just got tired of living with his mom and not seeing his kids, so he figured he could come home and tell all the lies he has been telling for 4 years and I would let him ocme home, which I did, fell for it again.