Do I just keep doing what I am doing and give it time?
Yes, continue working on yourself, and be consistent about it. Patient too.
Originally Posted By: JH
I think she just needs the space for now but its confusing in many ways because we are talking and communicating much better in the last 2 weeks than we have in the last 2 years! Im making time to be with her in the morning before we go to work and before the kids get up. She seems to be enjoying that I am connecting with her.
You want to maintain your new connection but don’t overdo it. Let her set the pace here. If you’re always the one pressing for this time, she may start to feel it as pressure. On the other hand, not enough emotional connection is what landed you here, and if you don’t rebuild it she’s likely to go find it somewhere else. Your ultimate goal is to build your connection but don’t try to rush it! Let her set the pace. This means if she's not up for talking you just happily go do something else. Also, don't be afraid to be the one to end an interaction. Hanging on her to talk is a form of pursuit, and is not attractive.
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I just dont know how to get this reconciled if she doesn't want any physical contact with me of any kind?
Get used to the no physical contact thing, (and by the way, welcome to the club ) it may be a while until she’s open to that. Don’t push for it, just act like everything is ok. Don't let this discourage you from moving forward. She can decide to love you again.
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I think at this moment, she thinks that all this new-found ability I have to listen and talk to her, my peace of mind, etc is all an act to win her back.
If you appear to be trying too hard you’ll look desperate in her eyes, which is not attractive. Make your changes for you, like you don’t even care if she notices. You need to show her that you are confident that you’ll be ok, even better than ok, even if she leaves. You have to truly believe this or she will sense it as fake, and just a trick to win her back. This is probably the hardest part to figure out.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
) it may be a while until she’s open to that. Don’t push for it, just act like everything is ok. Don't let this discourage you from moving forward. She can decide to love you again. 