I just dont know how to get this reconciled if she doesn't want any physical contact with me of any kind?
3 years of no intimacy is a long, long time. That points to some very serious issues that need resolving. It should have been addressed long ago because now that your W is on the verge of walking she's not going to be interested in therapy for that. What Sandi talked about is something I went through with my W as well, after our 3rd child my W became severely depressed. It may have been hormonal, it did not happen with the first 2 kids but man, it really hit her hard after the 3rd. She did end up on A/D's and it totally turned her around in every way including her labido. Unfortunately this isn't a subject you can easily discuss with her now because she'll view it as you making excuses for what she perceives as you ruining the M. All I can say is keep up the DB'ing and if/ when things start turning around then you might talk to her about it then, ask her if you could go to her PCP with her and discuss the sexual issues. Don't specifically mention depression, just suggest that you should talk to a PCP about these ongoing issues and see what they suggest. They will likely ask questions and maybe give a question/ answer test to check for depression as part of the process.
