I am in total agreement and could scream my head off on a daily basis. matter of fact, sometimes i walk by the phone (i don't know why- lifeline with H when he's away) and curse at him- it- and say go to hell.
i get so mad- frustrated- disgusted over the same thing. i don't even care what the heck his junk is- why ow??? good question. my thought is that it's fun and an escape and osmeone else new (exciting?) (merely from newness btw) telling them they're all wonderful is soooo good for stupid (man) ego. i guess they need that kind of a "build up" and lets get real- we all know each other soooo well- maybve my h can't get that kind of thrill & chill from me and my appreciation.
just what i think- it's stupid and shallow and easy and soooo destructive i don't think he has one clue that it will probably push me over some line - some time and he will ruin it all. does he care? who the hell knows- if i had to guss, i'd say he thinks i'll "be there" forever. also if i had to guess- i'll get sick of it one day and he'll be out the window forever - scratching his head and saying "i never thought she'd go".
i'm sorry you're here- i feeel THE SAME WAY - DAILY. IT'S beyond comprehension- and beyond our control.
i'm better after a year- if i saw her in my driveway i'd be sorely temped torun her over. i am not a violent woman- i think in very violent terms about them both alot.
sayring totally rotten awful things helps me de-fuse. sorry - i guess in this im totally petty. people ruining my life and happiness (temporarily hopefully) brings that out in me.
don't let it disable you- i'm not happy- i'm not same girl i ws- but i'mnot dead and i can still list the positive things- tht's about all i can do- that and help someone else if they need it- somehow brings some purpose and satisfaction in the face of this crushing & dismal rejection.
carry on- rant alot- good luck- xxoo and here's a hug (( )) - lots of people out here in your shoes (sadly, EXACTLY, THOSE SHOES) and we'll try and be supportive. we understand- scream & yell& rant and get it out......
your words are giving me hope this moring. i know, feel all same too. they power ow has - h has- to make me thnk and think and stew and suffer.
im better a bit- i'm not exactly "having fun" - but i'm not bleeding either. i'll take it- it's better - i'm working on it. maybe just time - it feels like a thousandyears.
i hate the uncertainty- no way in life to get rid of it huh?
anyway- i take heart from your saying you're moving past it- success somewhere out there -
you are sooooo right about being "fixers". it's my "job" in life- in my family- with my friends. don't know how it got that way- just people come with "stuff" that needs hearing- bearing - gluing, sewing (no kidding) understanding- calling- redoing, you name it.
how the heck i became that person to too many people (really) i don't even think of myself as such. your saying it made that little litebulb over my head go on- it drives me nuts to be unable to even understand properly- much less "fix" the giant mess my life has become.
i am amazed every minute of every day to find myself here. i do not see myself as a person in this life- yet - ta da - here i find myself.
i know- hang on to your hat kids... heeelllllpppppp......
(nancy kerrigan? why - why me????) remember that little clip -
Maybe I don't want to stand. Maybe she can just have him. If he is capable of this inflicting this kind of pain on me--maybe it's best to just cut the cord. I mean I'm supposed to continue taking care of me, taking care of the kids, living under enormous stress while he goes home each night to her? And, it may be that way for 2 years? They already have a relationship for at least a year. What do I want with him now anyway? He's ruined what we had. He ruined it for me. For us. And, he continues.
It absolutely kills me that he goes home to her and talks to her daily and when I think of how many times I've been the object of their conversation. HE'S MY FUC---G HUSBAND! WHO THE F--- DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? DOING THIS TO ME AND MY KIDS. AND WHO THE F--- DOES HE THINK HE IS TO ACT SO INCREDIBLY SELFISH AND MEAN?
And, a part of me still feels like filing is the best thing I can do for my self-respect. And, if he doesn't snap outta it when i file then f--- him.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
And, a part of me still feels like filing is the best thing I can do for my self-respect. And, if he doesn't snap outta it when i file then f--- him.
I am not going to tell you to file or not to file. But filing will not snap him out of it, that much I know. MLC is not a marriage problem. The marriage is a casualty of war of MLC. Most LBS do not continue to stand for their marriage. So if that is what you choose to do, you will join most everyone else who has come before you.
Standing is for YOU first. Make sure you are making your decisions for the right reasons. Take your time, you are in no rush to do anything.
MHO is FIX yourself first, then decide what you want. You can always file, but once you do it is hard to take it back.
Remember we are on a DIVORCEBUSTING website. The idea here is to save marriages.
I know how you feel...you just want to beat the living crap out of the O/W......BUT......it was not her who chose to cheat on you...who knows what lies he told her......I am not saying it is not her fault...but our husbands are the ones who chose to tear our family apart.... I know this is hard for you and when the mental pics of them together flood your mind that alone is enough to want to do harm to her, but really why give them the satisfaction.... The less you give her space in your head the better off you will be... I wish there was something I could say or do for you to stop the pain your are in, but I can't, all I can do is uplift you in prayer for God's peace.....there is power in prayer ...just believe I came here 5 yrs. ago and what I was then iss not what I am now...I am so much better and wiser....I come here to read and pray for those whose wounds are so new that God will heal your heart, but it will get better if you just hand it over to God... May God's peace be upon you ......Irma
I'm going to stand today. And, I don't care who knows it, but I'm doing it today, simply to make things harder for them. I don't care if I'm self-actualized, mature, a good DB-er, whatever... Today, I'm pis-ed off. I'm sick of being treated like this and I'm enraged that I had absolutely no control over these huge life changes. I'm furious that my children will have to carry the burden of this last year for the rest of their lives.
At this stage of my life, to have someone else call the shots on MY LIFE really pis-es me off. I've had to deal with ridiculous selfish men my whole life.
The OW is a drug addicted whore and her initials are DA. Her first name is Dani (how stupid is that?) and her last name starts with A, ends with E and has the letters "BAT" in the middle. It pi-ses me off that it's "Matt and Dani" now instead of "Matt and Heather." I'm irate that he has humiliated me like this. I'm irate that I'm a good person and he continues to act like I don't matter, don't count, don't mean a thing, I'm a piece of s-it where he's concerned. I'm irate that he actually told me he is "tired of being a d-bag." Well, stop acting like a d-bag.
Today, I hate him.I don't care if it's the "wrong" DB thing to b. It's how I feel and If I don't vent somewhere, I'm going to set off a car bomb in his truck.
This gives me satisfaction because H told me about a month ago to stop calling the two of them drug addicts. He was defending her to ME. "She's a good lady."
No, she's a drug addicted whore. She is vile and disgusting and he is vile and disgusting simply by allowing himself to be controlled by such a person. I wish horrible STD's on them both.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm going to take out a full page ad in the paper with the pics they posted on H's birthday. He's sitting next to her on some boat holding a bottle of Crown Royal. It will have the caption "Where STD's started." OR M... B...., running for the mayor of Ho-Ville.
I'm feeling a little better. Something about saying this on a public site makes me feel better. I'll pretend he will see it.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
From now on, I'm calling her the Ol' Bat because I never realized BAT was in her name. AND, I'M STARTING A NEW THREAD TO CONTINUE to share my wisdom and loving thoughts! Feeling better though! There's so much more in this powder keg. I really need to come up with some ways to let this all out.
Thanks to all for putting up with my rant. It helped.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
