I agree with Chatterbug. I'd just add that in my sitch, W and I agreed to 50-50 visitation on a weekly shift and we both expressed to the kids that we would be flexible for them and let them go back and forth more frequently as they wished/ needed. Luckily for me W only moved 5 minutes away, so that has made it a lot easier. As it turns out we've both had to be very flexible because stuff comes up ALL the time it seems like. Meet-the-teacher, football games (D15 is in drill), volunteer events, scout meetings & day campouts (S9), etc. etc. We're constantly coordinating events and working out who has which kid for what hours on which day. Seems almost like we're married or something
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If the chance arises I would like to let her know that this is not really what I want(I hope we can consider reconciliation down the line), but that I hear her wish and choice and will respect that.
Ask yourself if you're telling her something she already knows. If you're not sure that she knows that, then go ahead and say it. If she does already know then there's no reason to repeat yourself. Keep in mind that if you keep reminding the WAW that you're waiting for her, she'll see you as plan B- the fallback position. At some point she has to think she might lose you before she'll consider moving you to plan A. That's what detaching and being a bit mysterious does, it makes the WAS wonder if the LBS is moving on without them.
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I haven't asked for us to do stuff together, we have a weekly activity we do with S for half an hour though. I'm set on keep giving her space and not ask for anything. I keep phone conv short, simple and civil. I'm not quite so business oriented when we're together though. I try to keep things cheerful and positive.
Great, that all sounds like good DB'ing. I wouldn't push trying to get her to go out on a date. Keep doing what you're doing. You'll know when she's ready for a date.
