I still think your W is seeking attention (subconsciously.) Be nice and caring, but try to find a balance. I know it's tough. I think her emotional mess is affecting her body, but there is nothing you can do about it but wait. That's my take.
My H used to blame me for getting a cold. "It's all this stress!" he would say, "I'm so healthy but now I can't get better because of what's happening!" and then he would throw hints that life was too short and what was he doing... I used to feel powerless, and no matter how nice I would be, he still had that nasty attitude. At least your W is kind of siding with you.
Don't see anything negative going on in our sitch, so that's good news...How are you feeling in regard to the in-house separation? Is it still ok?
