H started hating my phone calls, I stopped calling unless absolutely necessary
Originally Posted By: Mrsrjd
no more ILY. I try, but mostly get no answer or a flip answer, so I stop altogether makes it clear he doesn't want gifts from me affection, even at home he pulls away. He mugs this up for the kids, saying "Ew yuck, help me" I told him, in private, that even tho this was done for entertainment of the kids, that it hurt my feelings. I stop. still ML, but menopause started about 8 years ago for me. I'm still willing, but its not the same and H resents this. I cook, but when I had a job H would cook if my work schedule conflicted.
Thoughts?
I see a pattern of your efforts being thwarted so you stopped trying. You were feeling rejected so you avoided situations that would make you feel that way.
Understandable, but the message that it could have sent, instead of one of compliance, was also one of rejection.
Which allowed the pattern of detatchment to grow for both of you.
The idea of the Butterfly Effect is obvious here.
As far as menopause, did you do anything to try to make it's effects less?
I am also a woman who is going through early menopause and it's effects on my M and my life, as I have become extremely emotional, volatile, and unpredictable, were less than pleasant.
Over the years, I have tried different natural things to help me combat it. I have also come to understand it, accept what I need to, aid what I need to, and have learned different ways to deal with it.
I don't allow it to be an excuse. It also requires open dialogue with my BF regarding what I am feeling, physically, mentally, and emotionally all of the time.
Simply being a willing partner, isn't all that satisfying for me or BF.
So I work to make it different.
Thoughts? Any ideas from other women who have gone through this?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
