How do we live "together separate"?

[mizjjd]

I reread. First time I thought the question was present tense.

I am curious, how did you express your love to your H?

But I see its actually past.

I/we did

EARLY DAYS

send notes
small gifts
say ILY
pda (manager of BK told us to stop hugging lol)
ML
talk talk talk
listen listen listen
frequent phone calls
spend as much time together as possible
cook for each other

START OF FAMILY
my notes went unread, his stopped

(Interesting story here. One time I left a note for H, just letting him know where I had gone and when I'd be back. HE WOULDN'T LOOK AT IT. Because, he said, when his 2nd W left him she had put a note on the bed saying goodbye. Fear of abandonment?)

still ILY for the first few years
some pda, but at home. HDA?
ML
talk
H started hating my phone calls, I stopped calling unless absolutely necessary
I cook for him & family
H starts coaching hockey. 7 days a week.

1st 2 affairs (both physical, 1 a one night, the other a few months)
my father dies
his sister dies

SCHOOL AGE, TEEN CHILDREN

my mother dies

H's very successful business is shut down under unfounded allegations of wrongdoing. H is devastated, tries several other endeavors but none successful for long. Most recently got fired from his job due to current crisis.

H's parents health begins to fail

no more ILY. I try, but mostly get no answer or a flip answer, so I stop altogether
makes it clear he doesn't want gifts from me
affection, even at home he pulls away. He mugs this up for the kids, saying "Ew yuck, help me" I told him, in private, that even tho this was done for entertainment of the kids, that it hurt my feelings. I stop.
still ML, but menopause started about 8 years ago for me. I'm still willing, but its not the same and H resents this.
I cook, but when I had a job H would cook if my work schedule conflicted.

Thoughts?