I realised recently that I have never seen a thread on the journey of the LBS. Did I miss it? Please could it be added to the resources if it exists? [I know some do not like the term LBS, but it is one we all use, if not always comfortably].
Anyway, there are a lot of people on the boards who have recently discovered an affair or had the bomb drop and are in the early weeks or months of dealing with what looks like a MLC. And I realise that we too go through stages, taking a longer or shorter time over each, repeating some stages, and getting stuck in others.
Others are in the mid point of the journey, used to it, but surprised by the emotions they still have, as well as the behaviour of the spouse, or ex-spouse. Others like Snodderly and Jack have completed their journey successfully and have an amazing overview of what happened, and great wisdom to share..
We navigate the pain, and the loss and finally the liberation, and get to the other side, more settled and very changed. I do not have the skills to put anything together,[assuming it doesn't exist already] but I wondered if others would find it helpful to think about what each of us goes through, and how we think and feel at different times? And some strategies for dealing with it!
Certainly the early stages seem to be characterised by shock and a sense of being traumatised. We can't usually sleep or eat much. Our concentration goes, and we may feel boiling anger and resentment, coupled with a sense of unreality or disbelief. Being told to breathe helped me enormously, and also people not wacking me with a 2 x 4 when I whinged, which we tend to do in the early stages - a sort of cosmic 'Why me'?
The 2x4s are handy later though for moving us on.
What do people think? Would others find it useful to post and see where it goes??
