Hi, a sad and messed up childhood are certainly set the scene for a MLC, if you don't deal with the stuff at some point. What is also suggestive of a MLC is that your h has said he is tired of people telling him what to do.
But there are degreees of MLC. My XH is having a particularly mean and long one, and we [I thought] were as happy and devoted couple in our mid fifties as you would find on this planet, so it just goes to show!] But there are people whose spouses have a shorter crisis, and are much less mean and destructive. It is still hard on the spouse. Marriages can and do survive MLC. Perhaps it depends on both the length and severity of the crisis, and of course if they even get through it.
I have grown and changed - I liked the person I was, but I like who I am now more. There are stages for us too, as we navigate the crisis.
