Hi LS13, sorry that u find urself here but these boards provide a great comfort.
I am pretty new to all this myself and as such cannot offer u much advice other than patience. This has been my biggest downfall to date. U will need bucketloads of patience. Read the 37 db rules and stick with them (these are gospel). The other essential piece of advice someone gave me is to accept that your old W and M are done. Your W has changed does not want ur old M and neither shld u. the quicker u accept that the better - again learning from my own mistakes with this one.
Re the money sitch please think and tread carefully. We had always had joint bank accounts but W wanted her independence and oown money. We are in the process of S finances now but I agree with other posters that it cld spark a lot of anger in W so be prepared esp if she wld lose out financially. Only u know what's right for ur sitch but my W seems so deep in a fog I can't trust her with our joint funds.
