About to separate....

[Sweetbriar]

Hi..I am new here, but wanted to add that my H is ALSO saying that everything will be just fine. That this happens all the time and that people get through it just fine. He has even gone and told my D's (14 and 11) that they will be fine and they will get used to it. He has also said that we will have 2 happy homes for them and it will be better as soon as he gets his own place. (H is currently at parents house).

I do think this must be the way to make themselves feel better...I agree with turtle...it helps with his guilt. Especially when he drops them off after being with them and they cry....its easy to tell them they will get used to it and drive away. Im left to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts.

I am also anticipating the holidays. H has told the kids he will be spending Christmas morning here with them and he will not miss any of that. Well, sorry buddy, but you will not be here with us. I know that may be sad for the kids (and me too) but honestly, I am not allowing that. If he wants to be gone, then be gone. You cannot come here for the fun stuff. I know it sounds horrible of me, but we have to get used to it and him being around for the holidays like nothing is wrong just isnt going to work. I dont feel like Im hurting my kids, I just feel like Im making a new normal.

I also have a Bro who has his X come to his house with his new wife on Christmas morn and they all spend it together. He was never married to x, but its still a little weird to me. I give my sister in law credit that she can handle that, although they have always done this for birthdays too...some can.

Seems like there are going to be a lot of us in this dilema for the holidays...we will have to use each other for support!