Sorry if it seemed I was suggesting proclamations of love. I was really simply inquiring whether that had been, or currently is, part of Portia's communications.

Portia,

Your sitch seems a little unique to me. From what you've said, you were the one who kept distance?

The challenge comes attempting to do a 180 which for you would mean to get closer to your MLCer BUT DB says give the MLCer space. Definitely a tricky feat.

Maybe you'll have to do a 90 degree somehow.

I like Snodderly's approach and your suggestion of a silent week.

Unfortunately, there's no course of action that's swift or easy. And as for feeling like a mess, well, you have good reason. Give yourself a break. This is some really hard stuff to deal with.

Me 46 H 56
M 22 yrs
S22, D20, Twin Ss18

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.
What you stop.
And what you reinforce.
~~~~~~~
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.