first time need help - still (new thread?)

[albamarie]

nero-once you start the "acting as if" you would be surprised how much you yourself start to feel it.

My h said there's a lot of jealousy in him (people like him) because they don't have it together. So they go seek it else where only to be disappointed.

when he comes home have things to do, people to visit. He will be curious it will get his attention. the more you show him your "ok" the more he will see. Be secure, make your home cozy, safe, and inviting.

Cook, let him know your about to sit and he's welcome to join "you". If he doesn't he still gets the point your making. Understand, he's not having a great time, he very well may miss his life with you.

Yes, he is having another life, but I read so many times not to assume it's the one he sought, there may be a point were he comes home (many times) to you to confirm "this" is his life right under his nose the whole time.

Be the one he want's to come home to, the one he thinks about when he's not there, one day you may over shadow his thoughts of ow and the balance begins.

It sounds like it's all on us, and it is - for now, but were the ones who know better and still want it to work out. at the very least if it's all over for you guys you want to be on friendly terms as you do share a house and he doesn't have to be a good guy about it.

back to the positive - he said don't leave - be the safe house - the light house! be the women he would be crazy to get out of his life - and it's good for you too to be that great!