rH, The lawyer sounds very well grounded and is a keeper, in my books. He knows exactly what he is dealing with. rH, listen to your lawyer. He's giving you very good advice and he's not trying to take your h to the cleaners.
I hate to say this because I'm not an advocate for divorce, but you need to strike while the iron is hot and get everything down on paper w/your h's signature on it. Right now, he's feeling very guilty for what he's done to you and he will be agreeable to just about anything you put in front of him. Once he's back from his trip and sees what he stands to lose, he'll change his tune. I've seen this happen not only on this board, but three other ones as well.
Just remember, you are entitled to half of everything. You have been his wife, companion and friend for a very long time.
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! What you are feeling is very normal. I think what is going on is that you've been given some really straight forward information and your lawyer expressed his opinion that it appears that your h is done w/the marriage for now. You are now starting the grieving process and you are going to have good and bad days.
rH, you have done everything you can humanly do to make your h see that home is where he should be, but he's not ready to come home. God has plans for both of you and each of you has a journey to make solo. I'm sorry you are feeling down and I wish I could make things better for you. Just remember...keep your boundaries in place when he comes home. BTW, I'm not at all surprised to heat that he is drinking a lot...he's 16 once again.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
