I am so very new at this myself (I just started posting in MLC) at only three months but your words made my heart bleed. Because I know exactly how you feel - and how I think he tried to tell me, but I was not listening properly and how now he has moved onto a better thing. I am beating myself with all those belts. The pain is so intense. I have never been emotional - but now I am crying every day. Worse, in trying to make the thoughts go away, they just get louder.
Nina, breathe for right now. Just breathe.
I cannot offer advice, but I can tell you that I also flew off the handle when I found proof of the other woman. I was the last to know. He had a girlfriend and I was the last to know. Flying off the handle made my situation worse. He became more withdrawn than before. So breathe before you make any decisions at all.
