The truth is that I played a more masculine role in our relationship - independent, overachiever. I think that is why I am still a little shocked that I cannot seem to function at all right now. All my independence has seemed to have left me when I needed it the most.
With regard to Pursuit/Distance, do you have any suggestions as to "what works"? I can say the ILY first and see what happens but anything else? At least for the next month, we'll only have contact by phone. One other thing I am trying is to listen to his life more as I was always the talker. It is sooo hard to not talk about the OW, like the elephant in the room.
Right now, I have decided, for my own sanity, to not initiate any contact for about a week. Quite frankly, I need the time to adjust to this "new reality". I keep thinking this is all a nightmare and of course he has not decided to be with someone else. He has decidedly decided to be with someone else.
I also want to use the "silent week" to come to terms with "just being a friend" for now and how to balance that with self-respect. I want to give him a chance to miss me. When he said that he sees us staying friends and talking on the phone, I just cringed. So, I get the demotion and he gets a new love and his best friend?
The truly ironic thing in all this, is that I thought we were finally getting to a place in our lives where we could discuss moving closer together, family situations willing.
