Heather, You are expecting your h to be a certain way, i.e., contacting you to see if you need help w/the party, etc. He's in his own little world and right now, he's focusing on himself and what he can do to make himself feel better. We emphasize to each and every poster to keep their expectations at zero so that they are not disappointed when the spouses does or doesn't do what you might have expected from them pre-crisis.
As T pointed out, NC is for you so that you can focus on your and your children and to assist you in finding your balance once again. It's to help you stabilize your feelings/emotions in order to better detach from his drama.
Don't text him unless it is an emergency.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
