If you like British series, have you tried Foyle's War [there is a new series starting soon] It is really good, set in the UK in the Second World War and well acted. I only came across it by chance, and don't know how well known it is in the US?
Post bomb my concentration went for a long time and I found reading for any period extremely hard, and then I could only read old favourties. But good tv series were easier to concentrate on.
Do you butter the bread for your cucumber sandwiches on both pieces of bread or one piece only [there are two schools of thought onthis!]
And do you use tea bags or leafy tea?? Sadly most Brits have moved to tea bags, but tea leaves make teh better drink imho!
Don't want you ladies salivating, but I was bought up in a house with an aga in the kitchen. Total joy, and the warmest place in the house.
I love Foyle's War. Since February, I've been through so many Poirots, Miss Marples, Wuthering Heights, Downton Abbey, Jane Eyre, The Forsyte Saga, Upstairs Downstairs, Emma, Midsomer Murders, etc... The way I figure this bizarre situation at home has given me British citizenship. I take my tea both ways.
Why in the heck hasn't he contacted me! I'm doing the NC. I'm having a party on Friday and Saturday. I really thought I'd hear something. But Nothin, nada, zip. It's a Halloween Party. I thought he'd contact me to see if I wanted help or see how it's going. Gawd this is frustrating. hate hate hate it. Jeez.
But, I haven't texted. [censored].
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
NC is for you to focus on you, not H...and I know, been there...nearly wore out my "click finger" clicking refresh on my email, looking for some contact from W...it doesn't help. Turn off the phone, turn off the computer, something for a few hours at a time so you won't be tempted to check (that's what I had to do) and get busy with all the stuff you have to do and try to forget about Mr. Space Cadet for a while.
Focus on the kids and you.
Easier said than done, but we all get better at it as time and practice go along.
Hang in there!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Heather, You are expecting your h to be a certain way, i.e., contacting you to see if you need help w/the party, etc. He's in his own little world and right now, he's focusing on himself and what he can do to make himself feel better. We emphasize to each and every poster to keep their expectations at zero so that they are not disappointed when the spouses does or doesn't do what you might have expected from them pre-crisis.
As T pointed out, NC is for you so that you can focus on your and your children and to assist you in finding your balance once again. It's to help you stabilize your feelings/emotions in order to better detach from his drama.
Don't text him unless it is an emergency.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Spent the day with students and getting ready for this awesome Halloween Party! We have heads on stakes, ghosts, a witch, a hanging woman, a cemetery with creepy lanterns and a bunch of other stuff. Will be doing a dry run tomorrow night to see how it all looks lit up. Still have to make a few more gravestones, a creepy cat sillouette, an owl and anything else I can think of...HAVE Always Wanted to Do THIS!! Fartface was always a grump about stuff like this.
On the trail we have saplings with branches reaching over into the trail. I was thinking of cooking spaghetti and dangling it from the branches. It will be dark so the kids will walk through and feel the noodles. Creepy!
I'm tired. May have a glass of wine and order pizza.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Your decorations sound great! Definitely do the spaghetti. It will scare the dickens out of people!
I think everyone will have a great time and so will you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I just read the Letter from the MLC-er. It is really something.
Anyway, I posted a response after reading it and then thought I should include it on my thread because it brought up an issue I've been struggling with.
I made a lot of mistakes these past months since H moved out. I was a blubbering idiot. Anyway, I shared way too much and really gave him every reason to stay away. So, I've had this nagging feeling that I should do something-make some sort of declaration acknowledging this past behavior but stating that this is not who I am now. Sorta my own Declaration of Independence.
I have some regrets over how I behaved and I do not want H to continue to think of me in that light. I realize that actions speak louder, but I also think he needs to have something tangible--a letter he can read over and over--stating who I am today.
So, I pasted below what I posted on the "letter from the MLC-er" thread. Would love thoughts.
"WOW. That thar is some powerful reading.
So, do I write him a note? That second to the last paragraph--pretty much verbatim or leave things as they are--me backing.
I read "Love Must Be Tough" by J. Dobson. He also recommends writing a letter to sorta make the point that you starting fresh. That the upheaval and stress made you a little wackadoo but now you are sane again and moving forward.
Would love to hear opinions on this. I've spent 8 months doing all the wrong things. Begging, Pleading, Making it Abundantly Clear that I'm standing by my man. Ick.
So, he's been out there having a gay ol time. Well, not all the time but I did make it waaaaaaaayyyyyy easier. I guess I said all there was to say. But, I still wonder if I should make some sort of declaration like the above. You know, something to the effect of....
You know I have struggled since our separation. When we married, I thought it was forever. And, I still believe in marriage and I don't believe in divorce. I have accepted your decision, though, and hold no grudges.
I really struggled these past months dealing with the reality that our marriage is over. I'm not proud of how I behaved, but please know it came from a place of hurt, shock and grief. I've always felt I could be honest with you about what I feel and this was no exception. I allowed you to see into my heart.
That was then, this is now. I'm facing today head-on and doing what I can to remove you from my heart. I will always be baffled how something so good could turn so sour. But, I'm done analyzing it.
If I never hear from you again, I know I will be fine. I will miss what was, and you, but I will get on. In some ways, I see how this forced me out of my comfort zone and I'm grateful for that.
I wish you well.
Heather
Something inside me says, maybe not today, but maybe a few weeks from now... this would be a good thing for me and maybe our marriage.
Thoughts?"
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
