To be honest it went south because I got very angry. I felt as if he was not empathizing with me.
Vero,
Your problem here were your expectations. You wanted HIM to care about your feelings and you were not detached.
You know that since you are the one standing for your M, you will need to do all the work. It may not seem fair and I am sure you have read about this. They leave, they cheat, they act selfishly and don't care, yet we have to ignore all that and do all the work on ourselves, change and lovingly detach. But that is what needs to happen if you want the R to change...
As long as you continue having expectations you will be disappointed and get angry.
You know my personal demon is also anger, you have read my posts. And you know it doesn't only limit to our spouses - for both of us anger has permeated other R in our lives.
What are you doing to deal with it? Therapy, learning about it, anger management exercises, mediation, physical exercise, sleep?
Vero - our #1 priority has to be to deal with our anger. Everything else will start falling into place once we control it and deal with it in a constructive way. I know it does for me, so I have made it my #1 priority and if you see my goals, they are intended to make me feel good but also to help deal with my anger. Yes, I have setbacks and our situation is NOT easy, but this is a must.
Let's do it together, let's support each other. I'd love to exchange ideas and suggestions and be a listening ear and crying shoulder for you. You know where to find me now...
(((((vero)))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
