Really? lostsoul13, that's the name you picked? Holy crap that is depressing...was bleedingbrokenheart taken? Just kidding man, youu're going to need to find humor when and where you can for this...FYI, I'm calling you LS13.
Fast foward to our Current state. -W wants to seperate but she also mentioned Divorce. I told her, I am not abandoning the house. Since then she hasn't mentioned it but i know she wants her space/time. -W says she is pissed at me for exposing the Affair, not sure if she can forgive me -W says at one point she did want to work on saving the marriage but i pushed her into this direction because how i exposed the Affair (not sure if this is true) -W hates me for turning her parents against her. I didn't do it, they live with me, they will ask questions about our R. But she can't see her own parents being pissed about this because its not the best decision for the kids. -W has repeated in the past about being with the OM, calling him her "soulmate"
Ok here is the good news, all of us heard this crap before.
Point 1 ) Not leaving the house. Good for you. Do not waver on this one.
Point 2 ) Upset about exposing the affair and not sure if she can...yadda yadda yadda... Yeah my wife said the same thing. Like somehow telling people about it is worse than actually boinking someone outside the marriage. People will think I'm an adulterer...uhhh...yeah...you are. 6-7 years later depending on how you look at it (the WAS aren't the only ones who rewrite history...if you're smart you'll figure that out too) My wife and I are stronger and better than ever.
PS - I do not advocate exposong the affair. But since it happened it's like trying to put a cat back into a bag after you hit the bag and cat with a stick a dozen times...good luck.
Point 3 ) I would have wanted to work on the marriage but since you exposed....phhhhhhhpth....guilt talk. See above, she is trying to shift the blame to you.
AND look you are not clean inthe failure of the marriage, if you think the failure is all on her...you won't do well here. You better chop chop figure out your part in it. But do not LET her shift all of this on to you exposing the affair. That is BS, is is just a convienient excuse for her now.
Point 4 ) Her parents. Did you turn them on her? Yeah...you did. You exposed the affair. You interuppted her plans, which might have invloved a much slower introduction of this douche bag...and them coming to like him over time. But the reality is also that if she had been the one to tell them right now thye wouldn't have been on her side either. You screwed up her plan...that is all.
Now comes the hard part. STOP involving them with any of this between you and her.
Seriously man, do not involve them, this will bite you in the asss in the long run.
Point 4 ) Soul mate...yeah... Did she ever call you her soul mate? Betting she did once...a few times? Even if she didn't?
F Soul Mates... Holywood needs to be kicked in the junk for making this craptastic term up.
You can do this man, you have alot of reasons not to give up, and believe you me, giving up is EASIER. But that's not what you said when you were married, you didn't say:
I will love honor and (whatever) as long as it is easy.
This is now the hard part of the vow you took, to her in front of your friends and family and God.
Got it?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
