Does the WAW person have the logical thinking ability to realize what the LBH person is going through?
My W knew what I was going through in the early days after BD and she did feel bad that I was suffering so much. But what SHE wanted was to leave, and she never wavered from that goal even though she felt bad for me.
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Do they see that the LBH is standing and waiting for the WAW?
W knew I wanted her to stay and work on the M, but that was not what she wanted. The goal of DB'ing is to make the WAS feel that you're on their side and support them, because as long as you don't agree then there's conflict/ pressure.
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The pain and suffering that we LBH's go through is such a example of love for your spouse. You would think that would be enough to snap the WAW out of their mind set.
Not really. I dated several women before marrying my W and I broke up with several of them. One in particular was extremely upset about it. I was mostly ambivalent about it, just felt like she was overreacting and that she should be ready to move on like I was. I have a feeling the WAS is much like that, they're just done and don't understand why we're making such a big deal out of it. My W said in MC that she was shocked that I was fighting so hard for the M, she thought that I'd go happily along with S and D. She just figured I felt the same way about the M that she does.
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If you really stop and think about what love really is and the ability of a LBH to stand and go through this path is a real testimony to our marriage and vows.
Yes. And some WAS's will eventually respect that while others never will get it.
