I was talking to one of the ministers from church today and she asked what if H came and said he had made a mistake and wanted to come back. I told her I wasn't sure what I would say. She said you have to forgive. I told her just because I forgive doesn't mean I will take him back. Plus, I don't think he'll ever say that.
It sounds like this minister has no clue about broken marriages and is just towing what he/she perceives is the Christian line. Forgiving is easy to do...living in misery is not!
Originally Posted By: RoRoinMD
Needless to say, I'm feeling a lot less hospitable than I was these last 9 months. H leaving showed me that I don't mean enough to him to stay and fight. I want to be with someone who is going to be here through good and bad. Not just when everything is going their way.
And you remember this ALWAYS! When we start going through this (divorce) we freak out because we either only think about the good times we've had with our spouse or that we are comfortable and don't want change. We don't see the "monster" they have actually become. So we fight for the person they used to be or for memories of what the marriage was. Once we get near the end, we are exhausted from all the work we have put into saving the marriage. It's usually at that time that we start seeing reality. Sometimes people change and it's not for the good. These are no longer the people we want to be with. But THANKFULLY, we went through this process of DBing. Not just to try to save a marriage, but because it saved ourselves! Ro, you saved yourself and have the skills to be a much happier person in life. If your H ever decides to better himself, then maybe you can rediscover something. Otherwise, you ARE an amazing catch that will make someone thank God daily!
