Breakdown, how long did it take for your wife to start being affectionate with you again?
For a while, my W pretty much limited anything that she felt created a connection because she wanted distance, and she said some "clarity" to think thru things. Once in a while we'd ML and then I'd hear the "don't want to give you false hope" routine. To work around that, I pretty much started referring to ML as "meaningless sex" so that there wouldn't be that guilt factor for her (and it still creates a connection, regardless what the other party thinks). I'd have to go back and read thru my old threads to really get a sense of how long this went on, but I'd say 5-6 months minimum. Really, to some extent, it was limited ever since 1st BD, which was about 18 months ago, so probably 15 months...
Since W moved back in (almost 3 months ago), we ML often and as good as things seem most of the time, there is still some limiting going on. We're gradually kissing more, but we still rarely say ILU. I've got a short list of things I consider baby steps towards more intimacy and some have started happening and I'm still waiting on others. The walls come down very slowly....
So I guess the short answer is...a long time, but baby steps along the way and some ups and downs.
