Sorry you are in this nightmare. I know it has made me question every minute of the last 20 years.
My husband too has many childhood issues to deal with. At 15 his 3 year old nephew drowned and my H's father told him under no circumstances do men cry. There was disownment of my H's sisters, and my H as well from time to time. At 16 my H's parents moved over seas - and didn't even offer to take my H with them. Add to this a couple of failed marriages for my H and the death of his favorite sister 14 years ago - and VOILA! He figures out that what is wrong with him, what is making him so unhappy, is me. Me who has stood by him for 20 years of a little bit of better and a whole lot more of worse.
The whole thing is bewildering, painful and infuriating. I wish you the best as you travel through.
And... how about a mohawk?
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
