Hi KD! Haven't seen you around much. Glad to have you back. Nothing much has changed in my sitch, though I'm doing better personally, thanks.
I'm familiar with the distancer/pursuer dynamic. One spouse (the distancer) invests less in the relationship than the other, until the other (the pursuer) stops investing. Then the distancer does what's needed to re-engage them, but only until they're re-engaged. Once the pursuer is pursuing again, the distancer goes back to not investing. But I've read this described as a long-term, ongoing dynamic, not what I've witnessed here.
The one person here that I would agree has the P/D dynamic in their R is Accuray. He's decided to "stop the pattern," at least as much as he had control over it. I haven't seen an update on his sitch for some time, but last I knew, he wasn't happy. It's a very unfulfilling way to live.
I get that the people here are primarily LBS's and "in mourning." I'm just wondering what would have gotten their attention before things got so bad. I've always paid more attention to the prevention vs. the cure. I understand that in some cases, nothing besides the bomb would have gotten their attention. But if that's the case, why be angry with the WAS?
