FY thanks - u will have seen my latest post. I am not going to set an ultimatum as she is already done with M - what can I do? Threaten to kicke her out? Threaten D, tell her to stop contact or else? etc etc etc. At the moment she wld race to a lawyer and ask where to sign.

I need to make myself the better option, a man that only a fool wld leave. I will deal with the emotions of an A when the time comes and now is not the time. I need to keep focussed, keep strong and I know why she went there - emotional support that I had not been giving.

Thanks for the advice but I think I know what to do. Easier said than done I know smile but db is starting to click (and about time too).