I've been trying some new stuff with my kids to try to help them (well, mainly D16) through some of the acting out and 'oppositionality'.
Took a leaf out of adinva's book and lowered my tone, came into same room, faced them whenever I spoke to them, and validated their points.
It worked almost immediately - much better that the old 'Tell (from the next room where I was frantically trying to do two other things at the same time) - get no action - yell - get no action- yell even louder and argue in frustration' cycle that I was stuck in before.
I am working on being compassionate above and beyond my frustration with their overt behaviour.
Something they told me tonight: OW rings H almost every afternoon as he is driving them home from school. The kids see her name come up on the car screen.
H always refuses to accept her call - which would be broadcast out aloud in the car.
Sounds to me like someone is getting a bit pushy......
