Lost and confused

[Soul.Searching]

And so the saga continues.,,... I think i broke sime DB rules tonight. Really need to read that book! Well I did drive over there. He gave the kids a cuddle and talked to them for about 30 seconds. He thanked me for the cord and asked me how my car was going.
I said "Good, except the engine light came on, on the way over here."
He said " oh I was going to ask you if I could borrow it."
Me: What for?
H: to take away for work (6+ hours away, for two weeks!) my work vans broken so I have no way to get there. Work put petrol on to my fuel card because I told them I would try to borrow a car
Me: we'll you definitely can't because of the engine light.,, that's a big ask
H: I know
Me: if we were together, that's one thing but you choose this.
H: I know.
Me: I have a life too you know?
H: I know
Me: I'm not going to be treated like a doormat.
H: I know
Me: You can't have the best of both worlds! You choose this.
H: I know
H: well I better get back inside.
He then gives the kids a cuddle good bye, says bye to me and goes inside. No anger, no frustration,... Basically no emotion.
My head is spinning! Maybe he told me he loves me because he wanted my car for two weeks?! The car that I have been without for over a month and he knew I was SO excited to have it back, just two days ago.
Now he thinks it would be okay to take it off me for two weeks! It may be just my emotional state right now but I think that he is just insane!!

I'm not having my Mum walk my kids to and from school, on the days where I am unable to take them because of work. I would have to take her car to get there!! Especially in 30 degree heat like today!!

He has this evil way of making me feel guilty when I don't do as he wants.