Hi Afa i agree no timelines - too much pressure for both of you i know you - like the rest of us - will know when you are done. i also agree no ultimatum - until you can handle being the one she doesn't choose. However, from what W has said she knows OM is not what she wants longterm. Interesting friend has realised this in her sitch.
i don't have views on anger towards/forgiveness for OM - i've not been there. i think i'd feel sorry for OM w his questionable morals and odd way of showing he cares for W by disrespecting her M i think the forgiveness/compassion is for W and you have that in spades
