Glad you're feeling better some. For me, the "reality" of others knowing about the sich does sting some, it does ease some.
I agree with Unbidden, W is most likely in denial - perhaps justifying (in her own mind) what is going on. I can say my W has played several not so nice cards with my kids. Fortunately, like you, I have a close bond with them. They know they can tell me anything...sometimes too much.
