Doesn't quite fit in any category covered in here

[Acy]

Hello,
I'm supposed to keep this short- as I am new here.

My situation is a bit different than most. I am 41 and so is my wife. We have one child, he is ten. We have been married 20yrs at this point. About 2 yrs. ago my wife started having an online emotional affair (Second Life). We weren't getting along that great either, Arguing. I felt horrible, she paid no attention to me. Said I didnt listen to her or something like that;) No really, I didn't know how to meet her needs. How to just hear her, and how she was feeling. Then she broke us up. we got separate apartments. I went right out and got a new GF. This made her insanely jealous. I broke up with new girl after 3 months, so I could go back to my family and her. We started couples therapy back when I first got the GF. Then things were getting better for a year. At that point I had some problems, found out I was bi-polar, and got depressed. I broke up with my wife. Stopped couples therapy. I also got my bi-polar medicated, and got on antidepressants. It took about a year to get that all under control. We still talked to each other and went out as a family on weekends. Divorce had been kicked around and was like we just were being lazy about it. Actually I was dragging my feet, but i didnt tell her that. I just didnt make any effort toward it. I was feeling good and I was starting to want to go back and try it again, I was afraid to ask her to take me back. Then she has a guy (same as before) from the UK come over for 2 weeks. This made me insanely jealous. I didnt expect that. I told her all this- That I loved her, And wanted to try it again. I also begged and pleaded and all the stuff I wasnt supposed to do. So she is into this other guy and I want to win her back. She said its just easier to be with him. That he is good with sharing his emotions. She said she would go back to the couples councilor with me. That happens 2 weeks from now. How should I proceed to win her back? What method. I have "the divorce remedy" book. Thanks for your time.