I am trying very hard to detach. Last night she tells me that she wants to go get pumpkins together, that she wants to join me in handing out candy on Halloween at our house like we used to. It was my old wife for a minute but I know the new one will be back.
I told her I'd look at my schedule and see if those were things I could do. I will probably go ahead and agree but I'm not going to let myself get wrapped up in hoping that her actions mean anything. They don't. They are just part of her inner struggle playing itself out in a way that I can't begin to understand.
It is so incredibly hard to turn off those feelings of hope that this will miraculously resolve. Trying to stay centered and not get pulled in.
