Peck on the lips and hand-holding are two great baby-steps!! Celebrate them internally but externally just stick with your DB'ing and those 180's Congrats!!
No sense of change today... W wants to watch the presidential debates tonight to discuss our thoughts on the candidates. At least it's something we can do together which could lead to getting.to know each other better.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
W's birthday today.. cold towards me this morning.. [censored].. normally on her bday I would have planned some fun things to do but it feels awkward planning those things now.
Tough to think that W has convinced herself that maybe we.should never have been M in the first place.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Have you been doing any 180? What are you doing for you?
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
W's birthday today.. cold towards me this morning.. [censored].. normally on her bday I would have planned some fun things to do but it feels awkward planning those things now.
So do you have any plans? My W's bday was a couple months after BD, I was hung up on the DB tip that says no gifts, it just didn't feel right. In the end we did have a small party for her, gave her a few gifts and some flowers and took her out to eat. I'm glad we did, even if it wasn't DB protocol it still felt like the right thing to do and she did seem to enjoy it.
My W's bday was a couple months after BD, I was hung up on the DB tip that says no gifts, it just didn't feel right. In the end we did have a small party for her, gave her a few gifts and some flowers and took her out to eat. I'm glad we did, even if it wasn't DB protocol it still felt like the right thing to do and she did seem to enjoy it.
I did roughly the same thing. Small gift, party with the kids. No way we were not going to celebrate as a family. Was not a DB set back in my book. But I am biased on this one.
M:44 W:41 M: 12 yrs W's EA began 3/12 Somewhere between WAW and MLC Still in same house
We are going out to dinner and I did get a small present for her which she really seemed to enjoy.. that's when she gave me the kiss.
She bought the book " I will not die an unloved life. Rekindling passion in your life". I am happy she bought this book for her but I also am holding onto pipe dreams that she will want.to borrow the ILYBINILWY book. It's ridiculous ust how similar the whole book is to pur sitch.
She has been asking me about how I liked the book etc... But she has not asked if she can read it after me and I know I should not ask her to read it.
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Well her birthday went well... The little gifts I got her she loved. Gave me a huge hug.
During dinner we talked about issues in the world an other social topics. It was deep. deeper than we have talked in a long time. I know one of the things she wants more of is my inner thoughts and feelings. So I will oblige, I just feel like it might be to late to prevent separation.
I feel like she is just sailing as smoothly through this until Feb when our lease is up. I know this gives me time and I know i have a lot to be thankful for in our sitch but I keep seeing her slooooooowly phase things out from married to room mate.
Like; Getting changed in front of me Taking down her pictures of us in her car changing her photos on her phone and FB to non "US" stuff Always sitting as far as she can from me on the couch never holding my hand in public
The list keeps getting longer and longer....
Meanwhile I keep thinking about GALing and 180's that I can do. I feel like none of the things I have been doing such as not initiating contact, going out to friends once a week, being spontaneous, taking on a new project...
The MC told me I need to tell W when "I feel" something unpleasant she is doing. This was because we figured out that our lack of communication on negative things in our M have really blocked our growth as a couple and as individuals. The thing is I dont feel many negative things happening with the exception of lack of affection etc...
I feel I should not use those issues to bring up an "I feel" discussion or potential argument. At the same time I know I have to do some thing as it is one of the ONL things W has said that really bugs her...
"PULLING MY HAIR OUT"
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
but I keep seeing her slooooooowly phase things out from married to room mate.
Same happened with us up until W moved out. I think you're exactly right, she's likely doing it intentionally to help you "adjust".
Quote:
I feel I should not use those issues to bring up an "I feel" discussion or potential argument. At the same time I know I have to do some thing as it is one of the ONL things W has said that really bugs her...
I agree, there was a time for that but it has passed. For now you're DB'ing. If and when you get to piecing then this is something to work on, but not right now.
Congrats!!